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Archive for the ‘Personal/Introspective’ Category

Invisible

November 2, 2009 Leave a comment

If I were to paint the soles of my shoes, and you were to become a bird and fly above me, what picture would the footsteps of my life paint for you? Would they form a word? And if they did, what would that word be? Love. Joy. Loss. Confusion. Why? Help. Or maybe numbers. All the telephone numbers I called, all the addresses I visited, all the numbers in my calculator, then also the number of tears I cried, and the number of laughs I laughed, the number of times I swung my club and missed the ball, the number of breaths, the number of heartbeats, and so on until all my life was tallied up and quantified. 

Or maybe there’d be no pattern at all. 

And what about when the paint was gone?

I’d just fade away, I guess. Or become invisible.

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Epiphany

September 24, 2009 Leave a comment

Just a little something that often crosses my mind.

***

“I think, therefore I am.”

It’s a simple statement, upon first glance. But when you take a moment to think about it, really think about it, it reveals itself as a profound truth.

I am surprised, every day, by the simple fact that I exist. When I look in the mirror, it takes me a moment to realize that the eyes in the glass that so boldly meet mine are indeed, well, mine. My name seems foreign, like it ought to belong to some other soul, and yet when I try to cast it off I can think of no other name for myself. My surroundings are soft around the edges, as they would be in a painting, and even when I put my glasses on and the lenses put everything in focus, I still feel as if nothing around me is tangible. Is this reality?

And then comes the daily epiphany.

This is real. I am real, not some figment of my own imagination. This universe, vast beyond comprehension, is real.

That’s a lot of reality to take in.

I suppose most people are naturally aware of, or in-tune with reality. I, on the other hand, feel almost perpetually disconnected. So, laugh at me if you will, but this daily realization is one of those little things in life that I cherish, one of those moments that reminds me that I am indeed alive.